Man get’s “anguish insurance” if England don’t win the World Cup

"Suffolk man to get seven figure payout if England are judged to have exited the World Cup prematurely".

But that means if they go out at any stage other than winning the fucking thing. 'Cos you see it's Enlgand's turn to win it this year. Didn't you know they won the World Cup 40 years ago? I didn't either, I hardly ever see it mentioned in the national media at all.

Meh, I'm just jealous. I doubt I'm even gonna be able to watch the fucking thing after all anyway. Typical; in 2002 it was in Japan and Jorea, meaning the games were on at 6am and midday, meaning I only managed to watch about half of them. Now the World Cup is in Germany, and I'm in Australia which means hardly any football for me. That is of course, if the Aussies are suitabley fussed about seeing their team gubbed by Brazil. You can actually get Premiership football is you subscribe here to Foxtel Digital services, but I think I'm gonna have to do a lot of pleading before that happens. I'm probably not gonna be able to see the Champion's League final either.

It says in the new today that Wayne "Shrek" Rooney is in an oxygen tank to recover from his metatarsal injury. Which makes this even funnier: Nike marketing scheme for the amazing recovery of Wayne Rooney.


  1. Out of curiosity, which team would you support? They’re showing all the matches on the big screen Odeon in Leic Sq. Finally, cinema my dad would approve of.

  2. Eh, I always go for the underdog. So in this case probably Trinidad & Tobago and also Paraguay, but I know they’ve actually got some good players. I’d be interested to see how the Ivory Coast do after their performance in the African Cup Of Nations, and I’d be supporting Australia (obviously) as they’re in a tricky, but interesting group. I’ll maybe put my money on the Czech Republic as an outside bet.

  3. 40 years of hurt, and 10 years of that fucking song, and they still can’t win anything.

    You should see the wankers sweat over Roonster – before that, they were all like, we’re going to win the world cup – one injury later, no chance. Ha.

    We’ll be on our roadtrip at the time – hopefully the yanks will be showing the tourney – and we end up with a Brazi vs Argentina final.

  4. Bina

    I never thought we’d win but I did think we’d make the semis with Rooney before losing to the Krauts on penalties. This could be my worst season ever. Spurs could finish above Arsenal and still get shat upon by them in Europe. Oh yes, and I just saw the new Spiderman movie and that sucked too. So, all in all, a rather bad week.

  5. The thing is, (if) England were to win without Rooney the feeling would be that “We’re so good we didn’t need our star player”. I’d be interested to see what the press in Brazil or Germany would be like if a player like Ronaldhinio or Ballack were injured.

  6. Believe me, as unbearable as England would be for the next decade if England won with Rooney, if they did it without Rooney we would declare the second coming of the Empire. But the odds have lengthened on an English win – indeed we are now longer than Germany.

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